By Jim Ferri
I’ve criticized the TSA folks at the airport on several occasions over the past few years. Unnecessary and insensitive pat-downs, questionable scanner technology and a host of other things have raised the ire of the public. Let’s face it — some of its agents don’t always use common sense while doing their jobs.
On the other hand, for all the screaming I (and most of us) do about TSA, it has been successful in finding many of those things it’s supposed to find, and then some. That fact was driven home a few days ago when TSA published a list of its successes during 2011. I thought I’d share a few of them with you:
Maybe it was the smile on his face that gave him away
In Miami a man was discovered to have seven small snakes and three small turtles in his pants. And at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) two birds were discovered wrapped in socks and taped to the leg and chest of a woman traveling to China. She was being given a pat-down due to bulky clothing.
I’m certain to get an “A+” on this project
A college student unintentionally closed down a TSA checkpoint at Omaha (OMA) when he walked through it with his science project. His improvised mint tin appeared on TSA’s X-ray monitor as an improvised explosive device (IED).
Just in case he was attacked by psycho-squirrel while pruning that tree
In a carry-on bag discovered at Wichita (ICT) TSA officers discovered a tree saw with a 13-inch blade. Also in it was a pocketknife with a 3-inch blade, two throwing knives with 8-inch blades, eleven individual 30-06 rifle rounds, one 12-gauge shotgun slug, five count of buckshot, and 125 rounds of 12-gauge shotgun shells.
“Excuse me, but that luggage is mine.”
At Salt Lake City Airport (SLC) TSA found inert landmines in checked luggage.
It’s Hollywood, and the women are stunning
A stun gun disguised as a smart phone was found at Los Angeles (LAX). The passenger was allowed to continue on her flight, after surrendering it to TSA.
Well that’s a unique way to signal the flight attendant for another drink
A flare gun with seven flares was found in a passenger’s carry-on bag at Norfolk (ORF).
Never judge a book by its cover?
Two throwing knives were found concealed in hollowed out book at Washington National (DCA). The book had the title “Ninja:The Shadow Warrior.”
Well, I’ll be…wherever did that come from?
A loaded .380 pistol was found strapped to the ankle of a 76-year-old man at Detroit (DTW) who said he forgot it was there.
And #1 on the list of the “Top 10 Souvenirs to Bring Home to Your Children”…
Small chunks of C4 explosives were found in the checked luggage of a man at Yuma (YUM). He said he was bringing it home to show his family.
